One year

Blue bells and bleeding hearts
Clarissa Munger Badger/Biodiversity Heritage Library/CC

 

Tonight at 9:02, it will be a year since mom passed. I miss her every day. In some ways so much has changed. In other ways, nothing has changed. I still feel guilty for reasons known only to mom and me — and Dan, Dad, Granddad, Grandmama, mom’s dad (I have no idea what I would have called him.) Let’s just say, I don’t expect to see any of them when my time comes.

I am grateful I was able to be with her and I’m grateful we were alone. I was able to hold her hand and stroke her hair, talk to her, and tell her to let go. She wanted to move on so badly. She was ready.

I wasn’t. Even though I knew it was coming. Even though I was making the arrangements with the funeral home. Even though I was told by the hospice nurse. I guess you always think you have more time.

I miss you, Mummy.

3 Replies to “One year”

  1. Thinking of you and how hard it is to say goodbye. I think you have done well. Continue to be gentle with yourself.

  2. Cathey, such special words for a sorrowful time, a beautiful soul and how much you feel. It helps heal the heart to write about it all, at least for me. I ask for peace to fill your heart and your soul, Cathey, that all your memories fill your mind with a sense of calm and even exuberance. Best blessings

    Write On ~ Shelley

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