Tonight at 9:02, it will be a year since mom passed. I miss her every day. In some ways so much has changed. In other ways, nothing has changed. I still feel guilty for reasons known only to mom and me — and Dan, Dad, Granddad, Grandmama, mom’s dad (I have no idea what I would have called him.) Let’s just say, I don’t expect to see any of them when my time comes.
I am grateful I was able to be with her and I’m grateful we were alone. I was able to hold her hand and stroke her hair, talk to her, and tell her to let go. She wanted to move on so badly. She was ready.
I wasn’t. Even though I knew it was coming. Even though I was making the arrangements with the funeral home. Even though I was told by the hospice nurse. I guess you always think you have more time.
I miss you, Mummy.