During my waking hours, I’ve been getting phone calls from private or unknown numbers and those calls feed into a dream series, as has Dan’s death.
I’ve had these recurring dreams about Dan. When you miss someone, that’s not unusual, but this is what’s been happening:
I dream Dan is alive and has been in hiding somewhere. Life got to be too much and he walked away. Somehow he faked his death. How doesn’t matter and I never ask.
Dan decides to get in touch. It’s Dan who’s been calling and he’s more than just a bit annoyed that I’ve been blocking the unidentified callers. How does he finally get through? I don’t know; it’s a dream, not a logical, daytime occurrence!
I meet up with him, we talk, dream stuff happens, then I wake up.
Some time later — a month or more, maybe — I have a dream in which Dan has once again disappeared and I’m trying to find him. From time to time, this part in itself is recurring.
At some point in the sequence, I realize he’s dead and has not been calling. Then, in that dream, I remember that I dreamed he was alive and got in touch. It gets very confusing in the dream as to whether Dan’s “really” alive or not.
Of course when I wake, I remember the truth of it.
Sometimes this series takes place in a certain town that I’ve dreamed of for years. In those particular dreams, I might be outside town or in a different spot “uptown” or “downtown,” but I know if I go down this road … or just over that hill … or if I take this subway line and go this many stops …
The part that feeds into my OCD tendencies is if the dream series starts in one dream town, the series will stay in that dream town. If the series starts in dream NYC, the entire series takes place in dream NYC. If the series starts in dream unnamed Irish town, the entire series will take place in dream unnamed Irish town.
I never start in NYC and part two takes place in some other town. These are well regulated as far as travel is concerned.
But if it’s the only way I can see, hear, and keep in touch with Dan, I’ll take it. I’ll meet him wherever and stay there through the end.
I love and miss you, bro.