Ten years

Dear Dan,

Sometimes it seems like a minute; sometimes it seems like 100 years. I miss you as much as ever. I look back over the past ten years and wonder: how different would life be if you were still in it?

Mom would still have dementia, but probably not quite as far along as she is. The stress of your death accelerated the process. I probably would not be living with her yet, so more of my sanity would be intact. I would have more freedom to travel, even overnight.

The cats would probably not be living with us. Iggy would go back and forth between units, but Pumpkin, Pye and Steely are indoor cats. I’m not sure I would have adopted the three like we did. Certainly the timing would have been different.

Mixed bag, there, Danno. And it sounds like the downside is due to you. But that’s not true at all. Some bad has happened since you’ve been gone, but bad happens in every life.

The true “bad” is what we miss out on with your passing. Mom lost a child. No parent should ever endure the loss of a child.

I miss out on your love and support; your common sense suggestions when I’m freaking out. Most of all I miss knowing that you’re somewhere in this world.

I love and miss you, my brother. And my heart is still shattered.

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